it was me to be blamed of.

so, it was me to be blame of, everything. you name it.

It was me who enrolled myself here.

it was me who keep telling myself to keep going on no matter what.

It was me who is the undesicive one.

It was me who said that i dun wanna take maths forever and ever, ended up here, struggling, in deep shit.

It was me who still can't decide when the chance is available.

it was me who think too far away.

It was me who is now, clueless.

I AM STUCK UP HERE. LAUGH ALL YOU WANT.

what's my next move? evacuate? evaporate?

smart ass. this is the result of thinking too much, way too much.

and now, what is my next move?

com'on man, time is running up.

i only have 7 months to consider.

minus the holidays, assignment rushing line, study line, weekend line,

how much time do i left?

Finance, Accounting and Marketing.

cross the finance and accounting, since it's maths and if im taking that,

i am just forcing myself to commit suicide.

left what else? Marketing? do i still have any choice?

with the sucky personalities that i have,

are u sure i am gonna survive through?

ooh, talking crap and bullshitting.

i suck at that, especially when i am in nervous shit.

i might just ended myself laughing like a mad woman before i start to talk,

and that would be end of the world.

WTH.

fuck you, june.

you had just.. ruined your life by not thinking and planning properly,

faking every minute of it.

'say what??!?!'

'paying so much just to fake every minute?'

'ooh yea whether u accept it or not, i think you are faking.'

wth? how much do u know about business? numbers? marketing? the economics in the world now?

this is just foundation, don't you forget. if it seems like.. it's the end of the world,

WAIT TILL YOU DRAG YOURSELF TO THE DEGREE LEVEL.

and lets see how much you can brag and fake.

ooh wait. AM I SUPPOSED TO BE REAL OR FAKE?

fake on and struggling or.. be real and dunno what to do?

wth.

alright cut the crap.

no i wasn't having moodswing with the 2 hours plus of sleep, this thing had just.. suddenly snapped me this week.

from Saturday, the fake or real thingie in youth meeting.

somehow the short mini sermon linked.. to my life.

i got it. i am doomed. serious deep shit.

and, i wasn't bragging or making things more complicating/ lying, mind you.

to be honest, i sucked at telling lies. whatever that i had told you guys, it was real. for real. nothing bout lies.

whether you believe it or not, thats up to u.

i wasn't trying to make things to huha huha gaga gaga or anything,

think back bout the line you said last week.

think back.

and now i seriously regret.

regretting every moment of it.

but now, try taking a glance. a glimpse also can laaa.

look, with you this kind of situation, are u sure u are suitable for psychology?

with ur communication skills, are u sure u wanna take mass comm?

SHIT.